Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun. Secrets, Secrets Hide Everyone.


All hail, all hail! I call for a moratorium on secrets. Even the deep, dark and disgusting ones. Seems to me that secrets, much like theories, cover up being (a la Heidegger). Let me preface this by iterating my general abhorrence of anything that causes emotional pain; and let's face it, secrets create, perpetuate and are borne out of pain. That said, I made the decision years ago to stop having secrets. Granted, I don't tell everybody everything (kind of comes with the territory of having major depression re: feelings of isolation/being misunderstood) and I don't consider that lying or deception by omission rather, I decided that I wouldn't lie to anyone about anything I have done or that's happened to me.  I've made so many "mistakes" that constitute my Dasein, I just don't see the point of lying about it or keeping it hidden. There's a level of responsibility and a utility function to my lived experiences (both good and bad). I'd rather own up to my life and let it be a roadmap for others (should they decide to interpret it that way).

Socially, being an open book puts a lot of the responsibility of judgment on the Other. Which gives me an incredible sense of comfort, because it means I don't have to self-conscious one your judgements of me before you've made them. I can rest comfortably and let you judge away, and since I've already done something you consider worthy of placing a value judgement on, I can't really care about your judgements. Make sense? Probs not, but seriously, this is my exactly how I feel about the freedom of having secrets. 

The philosopher Martin Heidegger developed his interpretation of Dasein, in his widely known book Being and Time, stating that Dasein was a human being whom is constituted by their temporality, which illuminates and interprets the meaning of Being in Time. Given that I'm particular to Heidegger's conception of Dasein, how can we authentically address the task of Dasein, if we permit secrets? Seemingly, secrets cover up Dasein making it incredibly difficult, among other things, to live as authentic individuals. Given that the concept of secrets exist in the world, it always seems like intersubjectivity is some twisted game of hide and go seek. Ugh, makes dating hella difficult, like I just wish guys would stop trying to front and keep it real. 

Granted, there are individuals that aren't interested in being authentic individuals. Secrets, deception, and lies work towards their advantage in broken and impotent social constructs. However, this leaves little left for them to discover re: the ontological nature of their being. So ya know, what's the point of being a shady douchey douche?

 I'll wrap up by, first, saying "stop keeping secrets and stop giving a fuck". Secondly, let me give you one more brain teaser. If the content of a secret is a state of affair (something that exists truthfully in the world past or present), can we truly call it a 'secret'? And, if there are no 'secrets' then is all that is left from deception and pain, lies?

{images of the Fanning sisters from W Magazine December 2011 issue, photographed by Mario Sorrenti and styled by Lori Goldstein}